I know I shouldn't share all of my thoughts here but since I'm not sure dengan siapa lagi nk share so yeah.
Whenever I saw atok paid something that was related with me, I always had this thoughts... I recalled everything that atok did was actually my abah's responsibility. I felt very guilty with all the things that atok did but since abah left I couldn't do anything about it and I'm really sorry for that. I used to care but now I don't really mind why abah's left us bcs I do understand that people changed and feelings fade. But there's one thing about abah that I don't understand. Dia tak pernah tanya how's my life, how's my school/college, how's my day, how's mama, how much the fees for my college and he never ask me about a little things that a father could ask. Never. He will only asks and gives whenever I ask for it. I'm her daughter and his my father, he's supposed to know it. I don't mind if dia taknak balik but at least kisah la sikit. Kita pun bukan orang lain, anak dia juga.
Hm I couldn't repay what atok's did to me selain berbuat baik. I don't have money, I don't have anything. I'm so so sorry sebab dah banyak menyusah kan. I do regret buying a car. Tapi kalau takda susah juga, siapa pula yg nk tolong. Harap kan orang je pun tak boleh juga, diorang pun ada life sendiri, problem sendiri. Ugh it's so frustrating that I couldn't do anything about it unless kena terima je la semua ni. Talking about accepting, I think life has been so rough on me. People are giving me such hard times. You don't understand but not having a father around you really gives you hard time.
To be continued...